Our Approach with Autistic Clients at Resonate Music Therapy
(Please note: different autistic people may prefer ‘person first’ language (eg, “person with autism”), and some may prefer ‘identity first language’ (eg, autistic person). Current research shows that the vast majority of the autistic community, from kids to adults, currently prefer identity-first language.)
Early intervention is commonly recommended for young autistic individuals so that families and caregivers can learn how to best support their autistic loved one. If you’re a parent in Colorado Springs or elsewhere, you may be facing for the first time questions like “should I put my child in ABA therapy?” “How many therapies should my child be doing?” “What’s the best therapy for autism?” “What should my expectations be for my autistic child?” Or maybe you’re an autistic adult trying to find neurodivergent-informed treatment so that you can effectively cope with a challenging world, in a way that is genuine and helps ensure that you truly thrive as the person you already are.
Unfortunately in the world of therapy, autistics are often given rules and expectations to behave inauthentically for the sake of being perceived as “normal.” Autistic individuals have to sort through a list of commands they’ve been asked to follow to fit into society. ‘You must use proper manners,’ ‘eye contact shows that you are listening,’ ‘you need a calm body in public.’ When autistics act in a way that allows them to blend into an allistic (non-autistic) society, this is called masking. On a neurologic level, masking is incredibly draining. When therapists place the burden on autistic individuals to not be perceived as different, we’re asking a client to use valuable mental resources to ensure the comfort of others, instead of using those same mental resources to thrive. At Resonate, we work to provide a space for our clients to feel safe enough to ‘unmask’ and show up authentically. Showing up authentically allows the client to actually work towards goals and objectives that matter.
Autistic individuals sometimes face resentment from allistic people (people not on the autism spectrum) for their desire for routine and rigidity, but through the autistic lens, it’s neurotypical society that appears rigid and unforgiving. Thus The Double Empathy Problem. The double empathy problem describes the breakdown in reciprocal understanding between autistic and allistic people. The lack of understanding goes both ways. Autism presents differently in everyone, so in order to provide meaningful support, we enter the therapeutic relationship ready to learn from the client first. Trying new things, entering into new spaces, and stretching comfort zones needs to happen on the client’s terms, and in a safe, supportive, mutually respectful environment that’s moored in consent.
At Resonate, this might look like:
The therapist verbally and/or non-verbally walking the client through what will happen in a session.
Always honoring holistic communication, while supporting the client in the ability to be understood by others entering into their world.
NEVER stopping safe stimming. The therapist will work with the client to find stimming that is safe, and appropriate for the client’s sensory profile, as well as other sensory profiles in the household.
Understanding that a client may need supports in order to be successful, and that we always ask for consent before providing supports (eg, “you seem dysregulated. What do you need right now? Here are some fidgets, or we could do squeezes with the Nugget couch”).
At Resonate we recognize that the client is the professional of their own body and mind. They know themselves best, and it’s our role as music therapists to foster self-exploration and self-awareness in order to empower our clients to know how to make the best choices for themselves. We listen to our autistic clients. We do not make their choices for them. We do not teach autistic clients to act less autistic. We adjust our expectations based on each client’s strengths and abilities. We don’t expect our clients to have all the answers about themselves, so we provide a safe space to learn together.
At Resonate, this might look like:
The therapist extending a lot of extra understanding to the client as they adjust to a new environment.
The therapist not looking for the client to engage in the way the therapist thrives with, but that the client thrives with.
A therapist bridging into the client’s world, to help give practical help and skills that help the client thrive.
Stimming is welcome! As long as the individual and those around them are safe, stimming is a natural way to self-regulate that we *all* do to some extent. It’s how autistic individuals regulate their nervous systems and maintain control of their emotions and cognitive functioning. Music therapy incorporates controlled sensory input like noise and movement for a holistic regulating experience.
We’re not dismissive of the challenges autism can bring- it can be challenging to be autistic in this world. So many never access holistic communication, cannot express key medical concerns, have a long list of comorbidities. We’re thankful to work with so many wonderful caregivers and families at Resonate, who do so much to support their loved ones.
At the same time, autism is so much more than a list of deficits. It is a unique neurology that brings needed diversity to our world. In fact, defining autistics by their deficits only furthers the narrative that autistic people need fixing. Autism can be beautiful. Autism is natural. Autistic people deserve autonomy and the freedom to be their authentic autistic selves. We support our clients in exploring their emotions, their needs, and what brings them joy. We do not withhold our clients' desires from them until they’ve “earned it.” We believe that our clients are deserving of good things without having to work for it.
Autistic people often have an affinity for justice and may not tolerate mistreatment and unfairness. This means that they may call out situations in which they see double standards or performative activism and challenge other’s integrity. It’s our responsibility as therapists to listen and believe our clients when they tell us they deserve better. That may be verbal communication or non-verbal communication (eg, leaving the room or building. Is there something in the room not conducive to their sensory profile?) Autistic individuals are less likely to value societal norms just for the sake of tradition like their allistic counterparts. This lends to the fact that autistic individuals are more likely to identify outside of the gender binary. We are responsible for providing an open and non-judgemental space for clients to explore their identities and relationship to society.
Autistic individuals may not necessarily want to experience the world the same as non-autistic people. They will likely have their own preferred way of having conversation, how they like to play, how they manage time, what kinds of media they consume, and may assign value in their lives differently. DIFFERENT IS NOT WRONG. For so long, the expectation has been for autistic individuals to be the ones to adapt their behavior for the sake of others. It’s time for everyone else to expand their flexibility. To recognize and dismantle the ableism woven into our society.
Autistic individuals have so much to contribute to our world and so much knowledge to impart, but the idea that our contributions directly correlate to our personal value is ableist in nature. We’re abandoning the idea that how we contribute to society looks the same for everyone. Everyone has intrinsic value and is deserving of joy and wellbeing.
If you’d like to learn more about music therapy for yourself, or a neurodivergent/autistic child or loved one, we’d be happy to answer any questions you may have. Reach out to us today through our site resonatemt.com, email us at marissa@resonatemt.com, or call/text at 719.492.5282
Sources:
https://the-art-of-autism.com/what-autistic-pride-tells-me-when-i-look-in-the-mirror/
https://reframingautism.org.au/miltons-double-empathy-problem-a-summary-for-non-academics/
https://neurodivergentinsights.com/blog/what-is-masking-in-autism
Ido in Autismland by Ido Kedar
Neuroclastic and the entire writing team there!