Have you ever noticed how a particular song can instantly change your mood? Music has the unique ability to connect with our emotions, making it a valuable tool for coping with stress, processing difficult feelings, and supporting emotional regulation.
Whether it's a song that brings you back to a favorite memory, a playlist that gets you through a hard week, or the steady rhythm of a drum that helps you breathe a little slower, most of us have already felt music's pull on our emotional state. At Resonate Music Therapy in Colorado Springs, helping people utilize music for emotional regulation is one of the most common reasons clients come through our doors — and one of the things our board-certified music therapists always look forward to journeying alongside you with.
Music and the Nervous System
When we experience strong emotions, our nervous system can become activated. This is often accompanied by physical sensations, such as increased heart rate, changes in breathing, or muscle tension. At the same time, our brains evaluate potential internal or external threats. This process is influenced by our past experiences, learning, and expectations. For individuals who have experienced trauma, the nervous system may become more sensitive to perceived threats and may also respond with hypoarousal or shutdown in certain situations (Van der Kolk, 2015). If there is a perceived threat, the body's stress response (fight, flight, or freeze) may be activated. During periods of intense emotion, our ability to access certain executive functions, such as flexible thinking, problem-solving, and decision-making, can become more difficult. Emotional regulation is not about getting rid of difficult emotions; rather, it involves learning to move through nervous system activation so that we can reconnect with a sense of safety, think more flexibly, and respond with intention.
This is where music offers something genuinely unique. Because music is processed across so many areas of the brain — including regions involved in emotion, memory, movement, and sensation — it can reach us even when we're in a state of high activation or shutdown, when words alone may feel out of reach. That's why music can be such a powerful starting point for building emotional regulation skills: it meets the nervous system where it is.
How Can Music Help?
There are several evidence-informed ways music supports emotional regulation. Here are five of the most common tools our music therapists use within sessions, as well as with you to utilize outside of sessions.
Entrainment
Entrainment is the process through which our internal rhythms can become synchronized with external rhythms. We often experience this naturally when we tap our feet or sway to a song. Because music can influence movement, breathing, and physiological arousal, rhythm can also be used intentionally as a tool for emotional regulation (McPherson et al., 2019). For example, pairing slow, steady music with intentional breathing may help some people slow their breathing and move toward a more relaxed state. Conversely, more energetic music and movement may help increase alertness and engagement when someone feels tired or emotionally shut down. There is no universally regulating tempo. The most effective music depends on the individual, their emotional state, and what they are trying to accomplish.
In a music therapy session, entrainment might look like matching a client's energy at the drum first, then gradually slowing the tempo and softening the dynamics to invite the nervous system down to a calmer state. This idea of meeting someone where they are — musically — before shifting toward a desired state is a core part of how music therapists work with emotional regulation. Some people find it works in reverse, too: when feeling foggy, disconnected, or emotionally numb, upbeat and familiar music can help gently build energy and re-engagement.
Shifting Emotional States
Music can be used to help shift from one emotional state to another.
Music therapists often talk about this as moving from one "musical destination" to another. Someone might start with a song that fully validates how they're feeling — an angry, heavy, fast track — and then, over the course of a playlist or a session, transition through songs that gradually move them toward a calmer or more grounded state. The key is that the music acknowledges the starting emotion rather than skipping over it. When we jump straight from distress to "relaxing music," it can feel invalidating or even backfire. Shifting states through music works best when each step feels genuine.
Attention
Music can also serve as an external focus of attention. Paying attention to the beat, melody, or lyrics can give someone something to focus on when their thoughts feel overwhelming.
This is one of the reasons music pairs so naturally with grounding techniques. Tracking a bass line, counting beats, humming along, or noticing when the chorus returns can anchor attention in the present moment when racing thoughts or worry take over. Music and mindfulness exercises can bring attention back to the present moment. For many people — especially kids and teens — focusing on music feels far more accessible than focusing on the breath alone, which makes it a helpful bridge into mindfulness.
Emotional Awareness and Expression
Music can be used to identify and safely express emotions.
Naming what we feel is often the first step in regulating it, and music offers a rich vocabulary for this. Clients might pick songs that "sound like" their current feeling, build playlists for different emotions, or write lyrics that say what's hard to say out loud. Music also gives emotions somewhere safe to go. For example, when someone is angry they may feel the urge to hit something. In music therapy, an appropriate way to express this emotion may be hitting the drums and playing loudly. Rather than suppressing a big feeling, music can hold it — loudly, physically, and without judgment — until it begins to lose its grip.
Co-regulation
Co-regulation is the process of calming or regulating through connection with another person. Long before we can regulate ourselves, we co-regulate: a caregiver's steady voice, a rocked baby, a song hummed at bedtime. Music is a natural co-regulation tool because making music together — singing, drumming, playing in sync — creates shared rhythm, shared breath, and shared attention between people.
In music therapy, co-regulation might look like a therapist matching a client's emotional and musical energy, then slowly modeling a calmer pace until the client's nervous system follows. For children who have experienced trauma, this kind of regulated musical relationship can gently rebuild a sense of safety in connection with another person. It can also be a powerful tool for parents and children to practice together — a shared song can become a cue for safety and comfort the whole family can return to. If you're curious about how music therapy supports children who have experienced trauma, our team in Colorado Springs would be glad to walk you through what sessions can look like.
How Music Therapy Can Support You
Emotional regulation skills can change quality of life — at school, at work, in relationships, and in quiet moments at home. If you or your child are navigating stress, anxiety, big emotions, or a trauma history, music therapy offers a warm, evidence-based way to build those skills with support.
At Resonate Music Therapy in Colorado Springs, our board-certified music therapists work with children, teens, and adults toward emotional goals every day. Whether you're looking for trauma-informed music therapy, mental health support, or simply a new way to cope with stress, we would love to meet you. You have a place here.
Ready to get started? Contact Resonate Music Therapy, call us at (719) 354-0893, or email staff@resonatemt.com. We're located at 2906 Beacon Street, Colorado Springs, CO 80907.
References
Van der Kolk, B. A. (2015). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Penguin Books.
McPherson, T., Berger, D., Alagapan, S., & Fröhlich, F. (2019). Active and passive rhythmic music therapy interventions differentially modulate sympathetic autonomic nervous system activity. Journal of Music Therapy, 56(3), 240–264.